Day Five - Mt. Errigal!!!!!

Climbing Mount Errigal

     We woke and still did not know if we were going to be a go for Mt. Errigall.  I was feeling a bit nervous probably because I had built this up for so long in my head, having it as the goal since I booked the trip.  

      I checked the weather forecast and it did not look good - 100% chance of rain from 9 am on.  If I am honest, a part of me was relieved.  Fear of accomplishing a goal?  Fear of trying and failing?  Not sure...

     At Breakfast we meet the two new members of our group “the dutch” as Linda had been referring to them.  Marietta and Marcel.   They were both very nice.  Linda told us we would drive over to the mountain and see what the weather was and then make the decision of what we were going to do. She already had an alternative hike for those who did not want to do Errigal.  As we drove over I saw that Errigal was clear.  I swallowed, mentally preparing myself that I might be climbing the mountain today  I was torn between fear and excitement at the possibility. 

     When we got there Linda made the decision we were good to go.  She asked who wanted to do Errigal - my hand went up.  After dropping half the group off at the alternative site we got ready to climb.  From the car park it didn’t look “too” bad that changed when we began the assent.  

     The first part was bog. I took a deep breath and started.  As is typical for me it took a bit to prime the pump and get me moving.  I found I was breathing weird - I could not catch my breath.  I started to fall behind the group which from the get go has been my biggest fear (slowing the group down). I think I began to mentally sabotage myself and I began to have a moment of panic. I kept going one foot in front of the other through the bog.  Stop… catch my breath… push down the panic…walk… catch my breath.. 

At the Skree

     About then Linda came back down to where I was and asked if I was OK.  I told her I was having trouble catching my breath.  She very calmly told me a story about a time when she had trouble and the lesson one of her hikers had given to her, she shared it with me. I could see her doing a check to make sure I was OK and then stayed with with, modeling the pattern as we walked.  Walking slowly with me setting the pace as I caught my breath and slowed it down. Short short through nose long through mouth.  My legs stopped hurting and I was able to keep going.  We got to the Skree (the loose rocky part of the mountain) At this point the wind set in,  blowing my hat almost off.  I pulled up my hood and then I heard the tat tat of the wind whipping my hood about my head and the sniff sniff blow of my breath. I kept my eyes on Linda’s boots one foot up then the next.  step by step… pole pull by pole pull.  I dared not look up.  It was a tough climb and with the wind blowing so strongly I had to anchor my pole several times to prevent me being blown over. Linda kept encouraging me.  She took it slow with me and I was able to get to the place where the others had gathered. I turned around and looked, wow I could not believe I had gotten here! This goal was about more than climbing a mountain, it was about setting my sights on something that at the time seemed unattainable, working to get ready and then not giving up.  Another bit of muchness returned.  I could not get the grin off my face!

      By this time the wind was blowing fiercely.  The next and last 100 meters of this hike were up and over a razor back.  Linda took Marette and Marcele up to check on conditions while Andrease and I waited. As I sat there I unloaded the baggage of negative emotions I had been carrying of too long, the fear, the anxiety the always planning and worrying and I sent it to the winds.  I asked Nanny and the universe to scatter them and also to give me courage to be open to all possibilities.  A very powerful moment for me.

Made it!!!

    They came back and decided that it was not a good day to be doing that part, not safe just too windy.  We congratulated ourselves on a job well done and would have had a biscuit but it was too windy to open a pack. After a few pictures we all headed back down.  Down for me was a bit easier but I did so with care and respect for the wind and the rocks.  I went down lighter and feeling better then I had in a long time.  I took my time watching my feet and making sure I didn’t fall or get blown over  When we got down - the rains started.  We had been so fortunate to not have them falling while we were hiking.
     We went and collected the other hikers and ate our lunch in the rain - I didn't even notice.  This day had been a success.  The hike was probably the shortest we would do, but for me it was monumental.  Life is indeed good.